Friday

Steve’s sleeping now, and I’m full of nervous energy, so I’ll write. I know it must be hard for everyone who loves him to be unable to see him right now. I’m sorry for that. So, I’ll try to describe exactly how he’s doing.

It’s been over a week since he’s had anything to eat. He has no appetite, but also knows that he’ll throw up anything that goes down. Including water, usually. Ice chips feel very good to this mouth and throat, and he continues to eat them. However, once or twice a day, he’ll throw that up. His stomach is apparently completely eaten up with this vile cancer.

His parents came by for a visit yesterday, and he was glad to get to see them. But, he tried to move too much and was vomiting during part of their time. I know it was very hard on them in many ways. Please keep them in your prayers.

His pain is fairly well managed with the pain pump continually delivering medication. He hurts if he moves, or has any stress at all. Sometimes he has difficulty breathing, and we have oxygen for him to help in those times. His voice is gone, and he can only talk in a whisper now.

He’s very weak, and cannot get out of bed anymore. The medication makes him a little confused sometimes, but for the most part, he’s lucid. With the help of a friend, we turned his hospital bed around so he can look out the window, so he has a nice view of the woods in our backyard. His bed is right up against our bed, so it’s like we’re still together.

He has no fear. He's very much looking forward to being with the Lord. We talk quite a bit about what we think that will be like. His only concerns are for others. Which is how he's always been.

When he’s awake, we spend our time talking quietly, or I’ll read to him. We’re reading a lot of Psalms right now, and also Randy Alcorn’s book, “Heaven.” And, he enjoys hearing the sweet cards, emails and blog comments. In typical Steve fashion, he said, “It’s kinda cool to not be dead yet, and hear all the nice things people are saying about me.” Gotta love him!

When he’s sleeping, I’m restless. I’m frankly having a hard time focusing to read or pray. My mind darts around like a child with ADD. But, the Lord is giving me good rest at night. Steve has some extra medicine for nausea which I give him at night and it makes him sleep soundly. And knowing that he’s just a few inches from me lets me rest well.

If he has to be sick, I’m so thankful to be the one caring for him. It is my honor to take care of his needs. And, I’m thankful for everyone’s generosity which makes it possible for me to be here all the time. I am continually amazed at God’s perfect provision.